Ted Backer - An Interview

We recently reviewed 7 Proven But Useless Book Sales Strategies.

Open Shelf caught up with author Ted Backer to find out more. 

You can find 7 Proven But Useless Book Sales Strategies HERE.

What sparked the idea to write a satire about book marketing rather than another “how-to” guide?

A hit to the head would be a funny answer. It’s also somewhat true: I started writing while sitting in the ER waiting room after a mild concussion. I do not recommend this approach.

Really, though, it started with a family discussion about promoting my wife’s book. At some point, one of us said, quite bitterly, that the only way to sell more books was to sell more books. That led to a discussion of Catch-22, the old “mice should become hedgehogs” consultant joke, and gift books like Everything Men Know About Women. 

And so, the idea was born.

Not all ideas turn into actual projects. But then I slipped on ice, hit my head, and suddenly had time to think. Still do not recommend it, though.

The book opens with the line, “You wrote a great book. Now you are trying to sell it.” Why did you want to start with that particular truth?

Writing a book and selling it are two very different jobs. This book is for authors who are painfully aware of that, so I wanted to start with a truth they would recognize immediately.

Who did you imagine reading this book - and at what point in their publishing journey?

I think almost any author wants to sell more books, even if they are already successful. Very few authors can say they have already completed all seven strategies, although I can think of one. Even they could probably read the book and chuckle along though.

So, in a broad sense, it is a gift book for authors at almost any stage. But the reader I had most clearly in mind was the author who has just finished and published a book, only to discover that the second job has just begun: making anyone notice it exists.

You describe the strategies as “as true as they are useless.” Why do you think so much author advice falls into that category?

I don’t actually think that most author advice is useless, and I didn’t want to mock existing marketing guides. A lot of advice is useful. The problem is that useful advice is not always usable advice.

For a new author, especially, advice can depend on things they do not have yet: visibility,

audience, reviews, a backlist, time. So, the advice may be true, but still not very helpful today.

If you find one thing you can use now, start there. The rest may become useful later.

Keep pushing.

Many of the strategies - “Be Famous,” “Win a Huge Literary Award,” “Get a Movie Deal” - are technically possible but wildly impractical. How did you choose which clichés to target?

Good old brainstorming.

The first couple of ideas were born on the spot: “Sell More Books” and “Be Famous.” Some others followed soon after. For the rest, we had to brainstorm, write down everything that came to mind, and eventually I picked seven from the list, because seven is a nice number.

The division between the “technically possible” strategies and the truly impossible ones came later, while the structure of the book was taking shape.

Did you ever worry that some readers might take the strategies literally?

Oh, for sure. And it has already happened. One review called the strategies “straightforward and simple tips,” then quite reasonably doubted whether they would be effective for new publishers.

I knew that was unavoidable. I have seen similar reviews of humorous books before. Some readers will always take the premise more literally than intended.

That said, if someone not only takes the strategies literally but also manages to implement them, they will definitely help. And I’ll be deeply impressed.

The book gently exposes the circular logic of publishing advice. What do you think is the most unhelpful myth authors are encouraged to believe?

I don’t know much about myths, so I’ll answer with a truth instead. Sorry. I’m not really sorry, but I’m Canadian, so there.

Talent often needs a hand. Visibility usually has elbows.

“The best moment to publish your book was ten years ago” is both funny and painfully accurate. What does that line say about the realities of today’s indie market?

I’m not an industry expert, although I wish I were.

“Start ten years ago” is generic advice, but it is funny because it works almost anywhere. If I ever write another “proven but useless” book, this chapter, and probably the next one, could go there with minimal changes.

You highlight the industry’s obsession with badges, categories, and micro-achievements. Why do you think authors cling to these markers?

The worst part after publishing a book is silence. Awards can help with that.

And I do not mean the Nobel Prize. I mean the smaller awards I jokingly put aside in the book. In reality, even small awards can serve a purpose. First, they can help with visibility if used well. Second, and maybe more importantly, they tell the author that the book has been seen and judged by someone outside the author’s own head.

Maybe it is just me and my wife, but after we both finished our books and put them on retail platforms, we had the same awful feeling: is the book actually good? During the work, you do not think about it as much. The excitement of creating provides enough endorphins.

But once the work is over, doubt creeps in. Winning even a small award says that the book was good enough to pass some kind of judgment. And that is comforting.

Let's have a closer look at the actual humour. It's incredibly straight-faced. How did you find the balance between satire and sincerity?

There are actual people who give “great” advice, like “just stop worrying” to someone who is overwhelmed, and do not see anything wrong with it.

In a way, I did something similar, but I knew exactly what I was doing and why. So, I tried to keep the face straight and the heart in the right place. The book is satire, but it is meant to sit next to the exhausted author, not point at them from across the room.

The illustrations - checkboxes, stick figures, ironic labels - act as visual punchlines. What role did you want the visuals to play in the reading experience?

I needed the visuals to balance the deadpan style. The text often says absurd things in a very serious voice, so the illustrations serve as more immediate jokes or visual pauses.

The “wise owl” giving strategic approval at the end of each chapter was one of the first ideas. After that, other visuals were invented and added as the book took shape.

Despite the cynicism, the book feels oddly comforting. Was that intentional from the start?

I’m extremely happy to hear that.

Even though I describe the book as an “emotional support book for indie authors” in the dedication, I was not sure whether that feeling would come through in the book itself.

I kept that purpose in mind the whole time I was working on it. Beneath the jokes, I wanted the book to say: yes, this is absurd, and no, you are not alone in feeling that way.

The dedication - “hang in there” - reveals a real empathy behind the jokes. What do you hope exhausted authors feel when they read this?

A gentle pat on the back. Like, literally.

I hope they feel a little less alone. The book will not fix anything, but it may sit with them for a few minutes and say: yes, this is hard.

Why do you think humour is such an effective pressure valve for people navigating the chaos of self-publishing?

Humour is a survival mechanism.

Robert A. Heinlein wrote in Stranger in a Strange Land: “They laugh because it hurts so much … because it’s the only thing that’ll make it stop hurting.”

Someone pointed that line out to me a long time ago, when I was joking a lot while hurting. I had not thought about it in years, until this question. Now I realize how true it feels once again.

Have authors reached out to you saying the book helped them feel less alone?

Does my wife count? Well, she counts a lot to me, so yes. A big yes.

She will probably read this so that's a great answer!

Let's have a quick fire round on the seven strategies.

Sell More Books: Why do you think this tautology persists as “advice”?

Because it’s true. Very, very true, and very, very useless. That’s why it persists. It explains the system perfectly, while helping almost no one enter it. It’s the cornerstone of the book, really.

Be Famous: What does this chapter say about platform culture and the pressure to be visible?

Not much, honestly. This book isn’t really about discovering hidden truths or exposing the industry. The jokes are light, and they are meant to be funny first.

That said, jokes work better when there is something recognizable underneath them. “Be Famous” is funny because visibility really does help. It is just not very useful to tell an unknown author to begin by becoming known.

Win a Huge Literary Award: How did you approach poking fun at the prestige economy without being cruel?

Your question makes me sound smarter and more sophisticated than I am, and I appreciate that.

I wasn’t really trying to analyse the prestige economy. I just liked the absurdity of “win a major award” as practical marketing advice.

Awards can be meaningful. Recognition matters. But as a sales strategy, “become culturally validated first” is a little difficult to implement.

Become Part of a School Curriculum: Why is “mandatory reading” such a perfect satire target?

Oh, so many angles here.

I have heard the opinion that if you want to make readers hate a book, you should make it part of the curriculum when they are young. They may hate it with all their hearts.

They‘ll still buy or rent it, though.

Get a Movie Deal: What inspired the parody of Hollywood-as-marketing-strategy?

It was born out of a discussion about whether we should try to get my wife’s book into brick-and-mortar stores.

I mean, it is cool to have your book on the shelves. But unless the store actively promotes it, and they usually won’t, people won’t necessarily see it. Those sales also don’t help your Amazon rank, and the royalties are lower.

But as we were musing about it, we realized there was always a chance, however small, that a famous Canadian movie director might walk into that store, slip, grab a shelf, and have my wife’s book literally fall into his lap.

He would, of course, love it, make a movie out of it, and our book sales would go through the roof. We did put the book into a few stores. The bait is set. No bites from movie directors yet.

Publish the Book Ten Years Ago: Why do you think this chapter resonates so strongly with authors?

I think it resonates because every new author immediately understands it.

With almost anything you start, you realize that you would probably be more successful if you had started ten years ago: writing books, learning a new language, investing, getting fit, building an audience.

With books, it hurts because time really does matter. Reviews, visibility, backlist, and reader familiarity all accumulate slowly.

So, the advice is useless, of course. Unfortunately, it is also true.

Just Get Lucky: Was it always the plan for the final strategy to be the shortest - and the most honest?

It wasn’t.

If you read many motivational books, you may notice that every idea is repeated several times, with different details, reinforcements, and many pages.

The “many pages” part was important to me, sure. I didn’t have the luxury of What Men Know About Women. I had to fill the pages.

But for all the other strategies, I had at least some jokes. Deadpan statements of fact count as jokes, right? With this one, I struggled. And then it hit me.

A joke should be a stab, not a speech. Enough said.

Now we will think about some of the structure of the book.

The blank “idea-catching” pages are both funny and strangely motivating. What made you include them?

Two main purposes, really. I did disclose one of them in the book: I needed more pages.

But there is a reason why the word “catch” is there, a reason why the word “idea” is faded, a reason behind the number of idea-catching pages, and a reason why the final commenting character is different.

That almost-final joke was invented very early in the process, and I liked it enough to keep it, even though some readers will miss it.

The captions - “This seems possible,” “Hope is doing a lot here” - feel like a wink to the reader. What were you hoping those pages would achieve?

Throughout the book, not just on the final pages, three characters make comments.

The mouse is exhausted and doubts everything, but is still willing to try. The wise owl thinks strategically and sees potential in pretty much everything. And the hedgehog represents the distant, slightly naïve idea of success.

I think authors need all of them: the doubt that keeps us honest, the absurd optimism that keeps us moving, and the goal ahead - even a naïve one.

The book reads almost like a graphic essay. Did you always envision it in this format?

No, the format was born while I was working on the first chapter.

I wrote down some key phrases for the first strategy in the ER waiting room (and I still don’t recommend a hit to the head as a project-starter). Later, I started putting the chapter together just to see how it might look, and the first graphic elements came along naturally.

A bit later, I realized that the “one spread, one idea” approach worked best for this kind of book. It loses something in the ebook format, but oh well. For the paperback, it gave the book the right rhythm.

It also meant that I only needed key phrases, not long explanations. That was a relief, because watering text down has never been my strength.

So, what's the real message? If the book intentionally offers no solutions, what do you hope readers take away from it?

“It’s not you, it’s everything.”

The struggle you are in is not unique, even if it often feels that way. I hope the book gives readers a small moment of recognition and permission to breathe. It’s okay to take a break sometimes. In fact, it’s necessary.

What would you say to an author who is genuinely stuck between strategy, visibility, luck, and mild despair?

I have a friend who wrote a pretty great book. It received great reviews, but it wasn’t commercially successful. After that sales setback, he abandoned the idea of finishing the sequel. And that is sad.

So, I would say: don’t give up. Keep writing. Do what you can marketing-wise, learn what you can, but keep writing.

You got this.

Do you think the publishing world would benefit from taking itself a little less seriously?

That is a Dalai Lama-level question. I may have to answer it in my next reincarnation. But yes. Probably.

Now it's time to bring things to a conclusion, and we don't have the benefit of blank pages. We'll just have to find a few more questions!

What has been the most surprising reaction to the book so far?

The most surprising reaction has been that people do pick up on the supportive side of the book. I wanted that to be there, but I wasn’t sure I had managed to convey it.

One review with a low rating said, “It made me laugh as I thought back to my first year as a writer; some parts almost made me want to cry, as it is just so sad and true.”

I still don’t know how to feel about that.

It seems a strange reason to give a low rating! If you could add an eighth “useless strategy,” what might it be?

All the best strategies are already in the book, including the bonus one at the end. And I’ve already stated my policy on second-best strategies: they’ re outside the scope.

But here is one more: get your book banned.

What’s the one thing you wish every indie author knew - even if it’s not funny?

Start researching marketing before you publish your first book.

Probably not before you write it, though. That might scare you away from the whole process.

Thanks to Ted for joining us to... hold on. What's that?

One question you didn’t ask, but I’ll answer anyway:

What are my own favourite jokes in the book?

“Curriculum supplies the demand.”

The fake book covers.

And the owl comment that may, to some readers, sound suspiciously like theme music from a certain 1980s movie about a time-traveling cyborg. Totally accidentally, of course.

P.S. Sorry for the delay. I just got an idea for my next book, so I have been walking and doing everything else very carefully. Let’s see if I can start this one without involving the ER.

Thanks to Ted for joining us to discuss 7 Proven But Useless Book Sales Strategies and more!

You can read more about Ted and his work HERE.

We're away to work on our next book, 7 Easy Interview Techniques. Step 1, get the interviewee to ask themself questions...